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Dear Wendy
My daughter’s friend’s mother is a spiritual teacher (or advertises herself as such). Their friendship began as school-friends to overnight sleep-overs, then holiday friend and now she accompanies my daughter to private after school classes. I pay for everything and this little girl has increasingly expensive tastes. I spoke to her mother and said it was getting out of hand and that she should pay for her daughter. Her reply was “Everyone gets a pay-off for what they do, or they wouldn’t do it!” I was shocked and angered by her comment. It’s put me in a bind. What should I do? Karen
Dear Karen
This sentiment is popular amongst New Age devotees, many of whom have been brought up to be self-centred and encouraged to be more so by New Age teachers who preach in support of their own selfish attitudes. It is a projection on their part that they do nothing for anyone excep
t themselves because this is their own personal agenda in life. This mentality was common in the Thatcher years and it progressed to where we find ourselves in huge debt due to the Bankers’ New Age attitudes. Spiritual people often inconvenience themselves for others and often put others before themselves. We think of the person who runs into a burning building at risk to themselves to get someone out, or a person late for an appointment who stops to help someone in need. Our society depends on people helping others, often less capable than themselves. Consideration, caring, generosity, kindness and love are spiritual values, lack of respect and a disregard for equality are just basically self-serving and could be described as cynically manipulative. There must be other, more deserving and appreciative girls in the school, who you could introduce to your daughter as a replacement friend
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